How do you feel about love being a choice, a decision, and not a feeling? It is a choice to keep and work on your love with your spouse, that also makes it our choice rather we want to work on it or not. A feeling, sometimes some of us get our feeling mixeed up for something else. What we like could be love may be lust or a high on being in love.
In what ways have you, and your partner, might have let your love dwindle, and not made your marriage a priority? We started to drift apart, stop spending time together. H did his own thing alone without me. I was left alone...wondering what I could do to bring our M back to the way it was, I was hopeless and depressed because I could find the answers I was trying to find. It seemed we did not agree even on the small stuff. I finally gave up and went my own way.
How do you feel about Michele's staement of "If your spouse reports falling out of love, just say nothing and remind yourself that nothing is permanent. If s/he fell out of love, s/he can fall into love again"? I agree I think my spouse is confused and doesn't really know what he wants. He has made it clear that he didn't want to make a choice between OW and me. Then all of a sudden he told me that he loved her more and would rather be with her. I still don't think it was really what he wanted. He never said he didn't love me, never.
What do you think about NOT talking to him/her about your, or their, feelings of love? About not putting any pressure on them to talk about it?
I'm afraid of talking about it, I might not be what I want to hear. I don't want to hear that he doesn't love me and wants a divorce. Which he hasn't done that yet. I was the one to file for D, I told him the 1st of this month I didn't like I wanted one anymore. Was that all right. Should I tell him I would like to work on M?
