I know what you mean about not feeling right about anything you say. I'm not sure that books are going to help. For a while I felt like I was on egg shells around the house with what I said and didn't say to her.
Now it seems to be getting easier. I'm essentially talking to her as I would a good friend. I have no physical contact with her right now (other than the morning hug). I've written off that part of the M/R right now. It seems to have helped the communication. I'm no longer worried about falling into the R trap.
