Somehow your posts roped me back into Newcomers. You always do some thought-provoking posts.
I hope that's a "good" thing! I know that sometimes, too much thinking makes my head hurt!!
So... perhaps what I have to say is of little value to those new to this. Hopefully, not.
I think it's of GREAT value! Keep it coming!!
You brought up a good point on finding a balance in life. Often times, it seems like we were VERY good at the "get a life technique" throughout our marriages, and we go to the opposite extreme, focusing our entire life around our marriages, when things are on the rocks.
When it comes to the important relationships in our lives, it isn't a matter of "finding the time", it's a matter of "making the time".
This is a big trap that my wife and I both fell into. Not only in our relationship with each other, but our relationships with others.
I think that it gets to the point where it goes on for so long, that we feel we need to set aside a large block of time to make things right. This makes it too difficult in our busy lives, and just never seems to happen.
Instead of "promising" ourselves that we are going to spend 3 hours one evening during the week with our partner, what we happen if we were to split that 3 hours into 5 five minute periods throughout the day, when we give our spouse our undivided attention. What might happen then?
No matter how busy we are, it's usually pretty easy to find 5 minutes here and there that we might usually be wasting doing something that's not urgent. Spending these 5 minutes with our partner would qualify under the heading of "important".
Try taking these few minutes here and there to spend some "us" time with your partner. If you do, I have a strong feeling that the "butterfly effect" will take hold, things will start snowballing, and you'll find that both you and your partner might find that "making time" for each other is a priority.
JJ
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