Quote: How do you feel about love being a choice, a decision, and not a feeling?
I believe love is a choice, a decision that one makes to love another. I too believe that once a person decides to love another that love is felt by the one to whom the person chose to love.
Quote: In what ways have you, and your partner, might have let your love dwindle, and not made your marriage a priority?
My H has only told me once in our eleven year R that he loved me. H spent little quality time with us as a family, and seldom, if ever, made long-term goals for our family and its survival. Those things H did not do showed me H didn't put OR first. I hurt the chances of H wanting to do these things by pressuring H, by demanding H to spend quality time with us, by questioning his love for me over and over, by demanding H make commitments to us as a family. I guess you could say I shoved him (not pushed) out the door!
Quote: What do you think about NOT talking to him/her about your, or their, feelings of love? About not putting any pressure on them to talk about it?
I think taking the pressure off is the only way to allow them to choose to love us again...however its not a guarantee that they will or really did in the first place. Until they make the choice to talk about it, it won't happen anyway, so why continue with self defeating pressuring. I have stopped the pressure, acted "as if", detached from the sitch, and now trying LRT, yet things seem to be getting worse.
H appears to be upset that I'm not persuing him any longer, distancing himself even more. Is this normal? Is it a good sign or bad sign?
