I Was Almost A WAW....Still (Next Thread)

[Dom R]

Hey again

Sounds like you have thought very thoroughly about it, and have come up with multiple things that you think would make you feel better.
You're doing great, I think!

In my opinion, the most important actions to consider, are the reoccurring, frequent ones.
One-time things may give you a momentary boost, but then when they are done, you'll be right back where you started.
So, I think that the "go out somewhere" might kick-start you out of your current funk(so could be great to do!) but shouldnt count on the "list of 3" that I was suggesting you make.


So, here's what I see from you as your list:

• Keep the house free of "junk" (start moving out stuff now)
• Take care of the finances (which includes, but is not limited to, paying taxes by february 2008 this time!)
• no more underwear in the house
• possibly also, a regular "date night" kinda thing.
• maintain the house properly. (possibly, work on one of those things that has been bothering you, at LEAST one day a weekend, every weekend)

I know you kinda said the underwear thing doesnt bother you... but I think you're wussing out there I think that it does bother you... and personally, i think it should. It shows a (unintentioned) lack of respect for you, in that he doesnt put in the effort to look good around you. Or at least, "reasonable".

There's a difference between "dressing up to go out", and "maintaining a reasonable level of cleanliness". Bathing regularly is only one of the things involved in the latter.
Putting on some freakin clothes every day, is definately another!
He is perfectly capable of picking out some "comfortable" clothes. If neccessary, go buy him enough sweatpants and T-shirts or something, to last a week. The whole "underwear is comfortable", is a bogus excuse.


Anyway, here's the third step I would like to suggest that you do:

look at the above simplified list, and pick "the top 3" to you.
However... the "no more laying around in underware" must be in the top 3.
The reason being, because I think that while it is in some way a "small" thing... it is with you every minute that you are together. In some ways, that can make you feel worse about a person, than a BIG thing, that only happens every few weeks or something.

I try to remember what my Dad told me one time. He said as long as you've got love at the bottom of any problem, you can work through it. I have tried to live by that all these years. I guess our love needs renewed or refreshed in some way. Does that sound crazy?

Wise words....
i think that you may have had the "love" part all these years... but the two of you were lacking in the "work[ing on things]" department. Having love is the foundation, not the whole house, so to speak

You can do it. It's' maybe just that your tools are rusty, and need some good oil soaking, and caring cleaning of all the rust and gunk off