Anyways, i really appreciated your post. I can't tell you how many times I've thought almost everything you said. "When will he grow up and stop acting like a kid? They are his kids too. I'm trying, isn't that enough... Why do i even bother anymore?"
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Just curious, but is he abusive or manipulative in any way? I'm reading your thread and wondering why you're placing all of the blame on yourself.
He's certainly not physically abusive, but emotionally abusive and manipulative, i'd say at least a little bit. He knows that I'm a push over. Don't get me wrong, I can be hard headed and stubborn if I get my mind on something, but when it comes to family and their feelings and needs, I'm easy. He has a way of saying things so that If I don't do what he wants I'll feel guilty. It comes across like, if you cared, you'd do it. He also likes to exaggerate things I say so that it makes me regret saying anything at all. Like in an earlier post (sir mentioned it) he said that he wouldn't kiss me cause he'd hate to make me feel uncomfortable. He had done something extremely sexual the night before and i addressed it right away. He twisted it (cause it hurt his feelings) so I felt like I shouldn't have mentioned it at all. Like i'm an idiot for feeling the way i do. I think this was the cause for a lot of problems before because I hated feeling like that and eventaully (over the course of a year) i just stopped saying things that I knew would upset him. I do blame myself. NO matter how bad or unhappy i felt, an A should never have been an option. I could have left or something. Like i posted to someone else, my EA was to fill the void, there are other ways I could have done that.
Another part of the problem, is that I've enabled him to act like a little boy. he moved out of his mom's house and in with me and nothing ever changed. I've never made him grow up, so now that I expect him to as we are having our second and third children, it's like I'm asking for the world.
Thank you so much for posting... i appreciate all the pennies too!
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
