I feel like W and I need to have a SERIOUS discussion tonight or tomorrow. I would like to find out where she stands at the moment. I want to try and validate some of her feelings and let her know where I stand before I go. I know it's probably against the DB rules but I feel like I need to do this. If the conversation starts going south I'll just end it. This doesn't mean that I'll bring up the stuff I found out over the past few days but I almost feel like I have to tell her that I know more than she thinks (I don't have to divulge the details).
Before you do this think very carefully. What possible good comes from it? She knows where you stand, right? And she knows what she is or isn't doing. You dropping hints about it can only let her KNOW that you are invading her privacy (in her mind). To me this conversation would be another attempt at (1)trying to control her, and (2) making sure she knows it's her fault. (That probably comes across a bit harsh, but that's what she is going to see.) As far as where she stands, what do you want to know? The only reason she hasn't pulled the trigger already is because it is probably pretty scary. Do you need to hear it from her again?
Also, how fair would it be of you to start this type of conversation, and then stop it if it goes south? I'd say if you start it (and I would advise in pretty stong terms that it is not a good idea) you have to ride it out to the end.
The only conversation involving the relationship I think I would have at all before you leave is to say that you are moving out in order to best comply with the conditions of your house arrest. You hope that this will also give her the time and space she has been asking for. I think you shoudl also state the date you intend to move back in, but I have a nagging feeling that might be a bit too controlling right now. I think by saying you are doing it for the house arrest you are telling her it don't see it as open ended, without being confrontational about it. I'd like to see what Amy, COG, and Jack think on that.
By the way, as I said before, I agree with Jack. At this point I think you have to move out.
