Help with Letter

[JAK58]

Talked to H last night told him i felt we were growing farther apart recently and that i wanted more quality time and he just blew me off with trying to play kissy kissy.WTH!!

Her is the letter witch i composed that i want to give him before he goes on his hunting trip(wondering if i should wait until he comes back.)

H,

I do love you and i do want you but, i don't know if i can do this any longer. I have been walking on eggshells, woondering wether or not you really want me and this M or wether it is lack of something better.

You seem to not want to talk about anything so i have all of these thingsgoing through my head. It's like, IF you don't talk about them they will be fine.

You say you love me but, at the same time you still don't feel an emotional connection to me. This confuses me and alsoleads me to believe that you still have an emotional connection to her thus not being able to reconnect to me.

What do you feel you need from me to feel connected again? I would really like to know. What do you feel made you look elsewhere for that emotional, physical connection?

I want you to be happy, it means the world to mebut, i need to be happy also.

I fel so hurt and i am even starting to feel angry that you won't talk. I'm scared for us but i am doing what it takes to gain my self esteem back and if that making my own life then so be it. This is not what i want but i know it will be ok if it does.

for the last few years it has seemed that we both went our own way and i have neglected you. You are a wonderfuland generous husband and father and i am so sorry. That was not my intension and i am trying to rectify that and be a better person. I know I have a long way to go but i am trying.

I also have needs and wants like quality time with you,just holding my hand ILY's (heartfelt). The last few years these things i feel have been far and few.

I know that there are a lot of things going on right now for you but, i feel i need to address them. If they are not addressed i feel that things will only continue to be more screwed up than they already are.

I would like to think that you are working on things with yourself and that you find your peace.

I do love you with all my heart
J

What do you DB'ers think?


JAK

[Startingover2]

I think its great. Very sweet but to the point. I like the part where you tell him you love him and want your M, but if that is not going to happen you will be ok as well.

[Concerned_Listener]

Jak,
If my W sent me a letter like this, I would consider it a wake-up call, and would sit down with her and have a hearfelt conversation. I would appreciate the warning, and the opportunity to still work things out before it's too late.

Good luck.

CL

[hurtandlost]

Hi jak,


Sorry to intrude. I read your letter and it amazes me how humble it is in fact.

I just have one "rational suggestion". I'd start with paragraph 7 and say I want to move on. Then the rest of the letter.

I believe it will set a mood where you are taking the first step on recognizing the problems. It's an elegant way out for your S.

Take care and best of luck.

[NikB]

jak - I like this letter a lot also. Very honest and open and a wake up call, I hope.

About the timing - I would wait until after his trip unless you feel it's THAT urgent. Only because he may get kind of resentful that instead of getting to "enjoy" his trip, he's "having" to think about this stuff.

I'm the queen of procrastination though so I may not be the best person to listen to .

[JAK58]

I have decided to wait until he gets home becuase i didn't want it to ruin his trip.

I may even try to talk instead of the letter but, it will be one or the other

HL- that is a good suggestion and I appreciate the input. This is why i decide to post it here first.

Thanks Guys!

JAK

[hurtandlost]

Jak,

Thanks for your input on my thread.
Hope things work out for you.

take care

[JAK58]

well I gave the letter the 48 rule and have decided that i will talk to H instead and stick to H's needs and not mine at this point. I need to let him know how much I value him as a person but that we need to work together on this if he wants the M.

JAK