No I do not wish unhappiness upon her; I just say that to feel like I have a chance. I do not know if I will ever grow out of that stage. She has been the only person in my life that believed in me and believed that I can do anything I put my mind to. She believed in me when no one else did. She was my rock, my support and the love of my life. Currently I really only have one thing to focus on in my life and that is getting my degree. I think once classes start back up then I maybe okay for a while because I will have my mind focused on something else other than her. I still want to fight for her to come back, I feel like I can not give up or that will be one more thing in my life that I failed at. Maybe one day I will get to your stage, not wanting to fight anymore. I pray sometimes that she will realize that what she had with me was good and I pray that she misses me and all that I stand for. I pray that she will want to come back and have a better more fulfilling R with me. I think that once I get to the point of not worrying about if she is or isn’t going to come back and that my life is so much better with out her, then I will be okay. I think its hard just to get to that point. Right now it seems like I am waiting for her to come back and I’m just wasting my life. I do pray that one day she will come back but for now I need to accept that she isn’t and I need to move on with my life. I wouldn’t necessary say that I wouldn’t go on date right now, I think that maybe it may help…I don’t know. I do know that I do not want to move into a new R with anyone.
