WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Jabrwok,

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.


"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"


He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.


And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!


One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.


"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

A part of me already likes you for your screen name. It was a gamer tag I used to use in FPS.

Amy C who just posted to you actually sent a call out on the Mid Life Crisis Board for some assitance.

I am not sure you are going to want the advice.

And actually I am going to conflict with AMY C's idea of not moving out.

It seems to me that your wife simply does not trust you. Do you have a history of saying one thing but doing another? It seems that your wife might think so.

Right now, not moving out would be more of the same. Sorry to say.

That letter is a horrible idea.
I'll break down why, but if you REALLY must send it...
: ) REMOVE THE CAPITAL LETTERS. They are just words you want to stress and think she absolutely has to hear, just like I did.

1) You have every reason to be unhappy an angry about how I treated you over the past few years, it was wrong and you deserve better.

You do not need to give her any more ammo.

2) If I knew how you really felt about everything, I would have done things differently. I never wanted to make you feel like you weren't #1.

its your fault for not keeping me informed.

3) I am agreeing to move out because we BOTH need some time and space to figure out what is going to make each other happy and I NEED to become the better person I know I am. I'm doing this for myself as much as I'm doing it for you.

I may be moving out, but I want you to see that I will be changing.

4) I want a fresh start. A 'do-over' in our relationship. Things won't be the way they have been regardless of how they turn out.

if something is obvious, there is no need to say 'obvious' But this is also about your wants. And working on your marriage with her.

5) My feelings have changed for you as well as myself, just like you said yours did for me.

you hurt me, I want to hurt you, this isn't just about you, so there

6) I CAN be happy without you but I WANT to be happy with you. I WANT you to have what you deserve, happiness.

you come off very needy there and more or less say that you will be her happiness

7) When you think about me, try to think happy thoughts, about the good memories, positive things. It wasn't ALL bad all of the time.

needy

8) You THOUGHT that I didn't feel any love for you. I KNOW you don't feel any love for me.

Telling someone what they think is a great way to pi44 them off

9) Counseling and therapy will benefit both of us. Let me know if and when you feel comfortable enough to go with me.

if and when? How about just 'if', very controlling.

10) If you want to hang out with me, talk not fight, or just go have some fun together again, feel free to let me know. I would like that.

she wants her space, but your reminder her that if she doesn't you'll be happy to hang around her.

11) I am proud of you, I think you are beautiful, I believe in you. I hope that someday you can feel that way about me.

Are you really? Telling her she is beautiful doesn't really help you right now. Do you really believe in her and her decisions right now? the last sentence is really needy


Ultimately do not send that letter.

You said you were going to move out, and if she is having trust issues with you and/or you suffer from saying one thing and doing another, sadly now is not the time to be even more inconsistent.

When it comes to talking about the future or your relationship with her, STFU. At least wait until you get the DB book and read up on it.

Talking with her right now is NOT working out for you.