Get Me On A Smoother Ride....Need Advice #7

[Rob1231]

Sue, It sounds like you have your head on straight about this, and understand what to expect. Good for you, that's a terrific start!

The point I was trying to make was, try very hard to stick to a short: "I know you are having an affair. I'm not stupid, and you are not subtle." I think he may try to wiggle out of it or try to turn it around on you - just don't even let him go there.

Don't let him draw you into some kind of debate about whether or not he is actually having the A.

Don't let him question how you know, so he can "explain that it's not the way it looks."

Don't let him make YOU out as the "bad guy" for snooping.

Don't let him shift the blame and tell you "it's really all your fault that the M is having trouble."

These are all very possible reactions (from what I've seen shared here on the boards). Most of them are attempts at deflecting the blame and guilt. Don't let him get away with them.

Also, I like your boundary about keeping out of the house and away from D3. That seems like a very good idea. Just remember, you can't control what he does - he may not comply, and you may have to push this line in the sand pretty hard. Stay strong.

Many, MANY hugs and good wishes for you and D3!