Maybe not too complicated to understand

[Michael Mc C]

I have answered my own questions, I only hope I've come up with the right ones!

I have decided that if she does this, she will leave the house. It kills me that this is what it has come to around the holidays but by allowing her to come back, for whatever reason, is still condoning it. She has me over a barrel with this. It is my job (and hers as well) to limit the impact on the kids.

I hate that this is happening. I will not protect her from her decisions. She understands the impact of what she is doing and she absolutely has to face the consequences. I will not give her a free pass on this. Although my kids are going to be affected there is a certain amount of accountability that SHE needs to start taking.

I have also told her that along with packing this week she should take some time to find a job as I will no longer be able to support her financially. As the mother of my children and as my dearest friend (how weird is that?) I can't leave her in a bind so I will help a little next week - but only to the extent that it does not impact my kids or Christmas.

I went back and forth with this and I'm not sure there is a right decision. There certainly isn't an easy one.

Her brother sent her a message stating that if she brings this guy around to meet him... well, go back a few posts and you might understand how that one ends.

So she is now changing her plans again. She is going to go down there for his sake. I know BIL was simply stating fact but it has her running to this guy now.

I actually recommended that she keep the current plan and simply don't include "playing pool and hanging out with BIL and SIL" as part of the weekend activities.

She is in a dreamworld. She has been bragging so much about this to "friends", sharing pictures, text messages and trying to get their approval. She is going to ram this guy down everyone's throat as if she was some teenager who just wants to introduce her new boyfriend to those who love her.
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Let the fun continue. She just stopped into my office and told me that I'm absolutely correct. She read my mail and agrees that she's being selfish. She spoke to him and he agreed. How nice.

So she's going to wait until after the holidays. Honestly, at this point, I'm feeling like I'd rather have her get it over with. If it wasn't for the kids that is.

I was checking MY credit card online yesterday and saw a $144 charge from last week. I asked her if she had done some Christmas shopping and she said she had. I just now told her we should talk about what she has already bought so we could figure out what more we are going to do for the kids.

Hah!! She bought herself some things. Not Christmas shopping but shopping for her weekend - clothes, etc. Stopped me cold. Couple of deep breaths later I said I don't want to get into it BUT... I did anyway. I simply said "you lied AND you put it on my credit card." She said "yes, I will return them. it's the only card I had on me at the time."

Nothing more to be said after that. She saw the look, she saw the anger. I told her I had to get back to work and so I did. After about 15 seconds she got up and left.

Every day that goes by gets me closer to realizing that this marriage really is over. She is slowly killing any desire I have to try to keep it alive.