No, I have NEVER faked O's. Maybe he would prefer it if I did, lol! But, no never.
One thing he has said many times is, "You SAY you would never do it if you don't want to, but your actions say otherwise." I do not perceive myself to be a lie-there-like-a-wet-rag type person, but I admit there are times where I say and move less. I'm probably tired or pissed off somewhat, but still wanting to do it.
As far as O, I do masturbate and have since I was young. I can make myself O this way and when I was younger, I did everytime. After we had been married many years, had kids, etc., he would sometimes ask me if I masturbated. (his way of being sexy, I think, but it seems more like a jab almost). I would not lie, I would usually say that I didn't, because I hadn't or I maybe had my hand on myself for a short time while watching tv or falling asleep but did not intentionally masturbate to a conclusion. Almost like it was an absent-minded massage type thing. I was often in a stage where I wasn't preoccupied with wanting it from him and I didn't really want it from myself either. I would be ok with making love, but wasn't feeling "hot and bothered." I just wanted to try and get everything else done in my life, (papers graded, house somewhat picked up, read to my kids, etc.) and with any extra time, I would do something like play on the computer, scrapbook, or watch tv. (He goes to bed early all the time and I'm a night owl.)
He will sometimes tell me he wants to make me come and I do like that, but while he is going down on me, I often have LOTS of issues with his tongue rubbing me the wrong way (too intense) that makes me jump (and almost puts me back at square one) or his goatee/stubble rubbing me (it feels like needles, I swear) and that is just not sexy. So there are times when I will say "come up here" meaning that's not working for me tonight and I would rather have him inside me, which I would tell him. We have actually had fights start during sex because he is almost pressuring me to come. Well, sorry, him making it an expectation makes it even less likely to happen! I told him this, but it didn't help much. I can also O during intercourse if I raise myself up and help with my own hand. He likes that, but I just am not always close enough to want to bother. If I feel like I'm a long ways from coming and he had already come, I am ok with stopping. He always asks, do you want me to keep going, but I almost always say no, because his rhythm is different and it's all gushy, which feels different and I know it "tickles" him to continue to go after he has come.
SORRY FOR ALL THE INFO! I appreciate the sex therapy very much though. How much do I owe you all?
PS Hairdog, that made me laugh. We are a total non-sports lovin' house. His favorite shows are Star Trek (gag!) and Dirty Jobs. lol! Any ideas there? ;-)
