Why can't I do this....

[Dom R]

I can see the glimpses everyday from W and from myself that there is so much to work for here. I know that she is telling me that it is over and that she does not want to work. But, if you look at a lot of what Dom and the others are trying to help me realize what she is saying is that she does not want that person, that marriage, that life. So what's a man to do?

A man needs to stand firm, and realize, that feelings change.

Also, that your wife is right in not wanting "that [old] life". Would you really want it either?
You have to show her that you can have a "new life" together.

Years ago, your wife told you that she loved you more than anyone else, and would spend the rest of her life with you.
You believed that her feelings would never change.

Now she's telling you that she doesnt love you, and "it's over".

Why would you believe now, that her feelings would never change once more?

Feelings change. It takes time.
Sometimes, a whole lot of time.

What to do during that time?

Conversely, I am learning that my happiness has very little to do with her and our relationship. You see, happiness is becomming more about what makes me happy and whole rather than what looks like happy.

I'd say you've already found your answer.
Good for you