Again, the best thing you can do for your sex life is to make sure you enjoy (not tolerate) whatever sex you have, AS HOT SEX, not just a feeling of closeness. What are you doing to ensure that you have strong, reliable orgasms during your sexual encounters?
You are uncomfortable with your own sexuality, it seems to me. When you get past that, you'll be a lot less picky about his raunchiness and a lot more welcoming of his horniness.
The coupon book is sweet, but it largely seems to be about you. It seems to be about what YOU would like in terms of romance/sex. How about giving him a coupon book that is about HIM. Make it very explicit and very dirty and very kinky.
(1) Be his porn star for a night, you supply the camera. (2) Around the world, starting with your mouth, ending... (3) Masturbate with a (whatever) for him.
etc...
Better yet, why not simply start DOING some of these things? At this point, if he has to cash in a coupon, he may very well feel that you are doing those things just because you "have to."
What are you doing to work on your own sexuality? You may very well need to work to develop an authentic sexual self that really enjoys sex alone and with a partner. I belive you got married young, at a point in which a woman's sexuality is too often just about being what the male wants, and had children young, at a point in which motherhood often squelches what would otherwise be a blossoming sexual self. Perhaps I am wrong. But if not, you might do some reading on YOUR sexuality.
