I Was Almost A WAW....Still (Next Thread)

[Dom R]

Good morning Sandi

Its nice to hear that you are trying to do nice things for him again. I think that can bring good things for your marriage.

there are two really important comments that I have to make at this time:

1. I dont advocate you forcing yourself to tell him "i love you", if you dont really feel it. I think that is potentially bad, because first of all, it sets a bad prececent for misrepresenting your feelings to him. and also, because i think it could build resentment in you. I dont think you should be doing anything that builds resentment. Anything that builds up resentment within you, is automatically "category #3"

2. I didnt actually ask you to start doing those 3 things. heh.

What I asked you to do next, was to pick 3 things that would be meaningful to you, that HE do for YOU.

This is even more important, (for right now) than you doing those things for him!!

here's what I wrote, again:

Now make a list of 3 things that he could do for you (on a regular basis), that would make you feel at least a bit better.
Dont be shy on these ones.. Dont hold back, really "go for it", and write down even major things, that you feel would have the BIGGEST positive effect on [how you feel about] your marriage, if he did them.

Try not to rule anything out, as "he wont do it", or "its too hard"... Just be totally honest, about if a fairy waved a magic wand, and he suddenly started doing these 3 things, it would really mean something to you.


If you feel timid, and you want to write down some "lesser" things as well, that's up to you. However, you "must" write down the 3 big things, first

As for your evening out last night...

BTW, I did not over-do acting "up-beat" at the dinner last night. I was too drained to do that, but I did try to put my best foot forward. My H complimented me several times about how pretty I looked, and I did appreciate that.

i'm glad to hear that, on both accounts