Don't be so hard on yourself. This is a learning process. We all make mistakes - love is involved.
This is tough stuff. Most people could never do this.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11