My ex-B didn't tell me his feelings until it was too late. I knew occasionally he'd be like "you won't let me do xxx" and it was stuff we'd never even discussed! I had a hard time trusting him over one thing he'd done previously, but when I moved in with him, everything was pretty much a clean slate. If he wanted to go out on Wednesday nights, he should have just told me he was going to do that. We got into a pattern of mostly just spending time together, and he felt smothered - I can see that there were some signs of that, like my previous example. He just assumed things and didn't talk with me about them. And if I got a little hurt over some things, so what? He built up in his mind how I'd react and much of the stuff was really NOT a big deal to me.
On the other hand, he IS talking with a brief ex-girlfriend about what she did to him (she ditched him in front of a group of people they knew for someone else about 4 years ago, it was only maybe a one-month long distance thing to begin with). He had let her live that summer platonically in his apt too. So instead of working it out with the person who is here for him and loves him, he's talking with someone who's treated men like they were as expendable as toilet paper (she has a track record). And he's going in a couple of weeks to see her overseas. So he will discuss things, but in his own time and that might be a long time from now.
I think you do need some conflict in a relationship, in my previous marriage we were two people who didn't approach problems at all and I learned from that. That does not mean everything has to be solved 100%. There are things that people differ on. But it's important to respect the others viewpoint. My ex-b has a pretty violent temper - it isn't often, but he does rage. He'll never touch a woman in anger, but he has pointed his fingers in my face. That isn't a healthy thing, but at least it does blow over quickly.
