LWB or if you get an erection for longer then 4 hours go to the ER. LOL
Sorry ladies but if I would have known 8 months ago it was the last time> If I got a erection that lasted 4 hours I would use every minute of it. Heck i paid for it.....
H
Smile Sues. I am not making fun of your sitch but those commercial get to me. They always say "be ready for when that moment arrives" Heck if the wind changes direction I am ready
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Yeah husband that is what I am thinking also. If he is having ED problems it takes a toll on a guy in a big way. Not that I have a penis or anything, lol. But I have seen what it has done to my husband.
I'm glad you're thinking about getting away for a few days. You deserve the time away with friends. This is not about you. The anger isn't about you. Please don't forget that. Your M may not be perfect, but what you're H is going through isn't only about your R. It's mostly about him, his shortcomings, his unhappiness and discontent. It did get bad with J. He totally withdrew from me and the kids. He wasn't seriously involved with OW to the point of being deeply involved. He was though just as angry and unreachable as your H. He took his anger out on us with his moods and what he said, but deep down he wasn't angry with us. He was angry at himself for screwing up and not having the life he wanted. He hated his life and that included us unfortunately. He was also very selfish at that point. It's hard to explain, but he could hardly keep his head above water to function so all he concentrated on was himself and trying to find anything that would make him feel better. The prob was that he could only feel happy for little stretches of time so he became more and more angry and unhappy. It took a trip to the Dr. and ADs to pull him out of that. We're very lucky that he realized his life was spinning out of control and accepted help. A lot of men see this as a sign of weakness and won't talk to a Dr. about their depression. I didn't realize what it was for quite a while, but when I saw the list of symptoms of depression - J had most of them. I showed him the list and told him that I love him and would go to the Dr. with him. Whether we were together or not, he needed to be healthy and happy again. It took months for him to pull out of the depression and recover. I didn't do so well in handling it I think it made a big difference though that I reached out to him and showed him my love and concern. When he looks back and remembers what a dark place he was in he says he's so thankful that I got him help when everyone else had given up on him.
Hugggggs... hang in there. I know how much this hurts Sue.
I have been following your sich with amazement. I can't believe that your H is so cruel that he carries on in your own home and doesn't even seem to try and hide it or doesn't even seem to care if you know or not. That is one sick puppy.
What are your options? Are you tied to him financially or otherwise? He is cake eating and doesn't show any signs of stopping. How long do you plan on going thru this?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Sue, Some ((( hugs ))) from me. It's so important that you GAL right now. Let your D be your light. I'm really close to my D, too, especially since she's my only child. During my darkest days, she kept me going, but even then, at times it was tough.
Some thoughts from me ... I know you're dreading having that confrontational talk with your H. It was hard for me, too. But one thing I did that helped a lot was to prepare. I made notes of everything I wanted to say, how I wanted to say it, questions I wanted to ask, etc. And I actually studied them. I would have liked to have had them in front of me during the talk (like an open book test) but didn't think that would be very effective! But overall it helped me to feel more in control.
More ((( hugs ))) I hope you got to get out last night, or find time soon. You need it!
Thank you so much! It's a rough day today. I'm having a hard time figuring out what to say & how to approach it. Do I come out and just say.....H, what's going on with OW?....I know this is a full blown A, so there's no sense in denying it anymore..???? I don't know. I know that would put him on the defensive right away, but I don't know what to say.
So, I think I may have ruined some of H's plans last night. He left to go workout and came back about an hour & 1/2 later. I truly think he was planning on seeing her, but I threw a wrench into his plans by asking him what he was doing & by him knowing I saw the underwear. Sick, just sick. I woke up around 11:00 to him getting something out of his drawer. He asked if I had any money. All of a sudden he forgot that we didn't have milk for D3's breakfast. ????? He left to go get that. Seems to me that he came back right away, but who knows.
Starting......I wanted to answer your question. I don't think I can take this much longer. Trust me, had H been home last night when I was having my mini-breakdown, it would have happened right then & there. You said that H is doing all of this in front of me. This may sound strange, but in a way, although he knows I'm aware of things, I really think he still thinks he's tricking me and that I don't see it all. He'll find out that I do when I talk to him. The other question you had was about finances. Yes, in a way, H and I are a bit dependent on each other financially, mostly because of D3. I think if I had to, I could find a way to make it work, but H would still have to be responsible for some of D3's expenses to help me out.
I don't want to do this and I don't want to go anti-DB in my conversation, but at some point in time I feel that this has to happen and that it has to be a blunt and direct conversation. Otherwise, I don't think he'll truly understand what I know and how it's effecting me.
As far as the ED & Levitra, H has felt for the past few years that he has a problem with this. For me it was not big deal. I didn't see a difference. I think this is just another HUGE hit to his self-esteem, on top of the fact that he feels he's not where he should be in his career. The two biggest issues men seem to have are both affecting my H. And Joie, no, I don't think H bought the Levitra for us. Why keep it in his car??
H has not slept in our bed for a week, has pushed WAY far away from me (us) now the past week and is avoiding any communication. Yet, the one thing he is doing is continuing to wear his wedding ring. In the past, when H has gotten upset, the first thing he does is takes that off.....because he knows how it affects me.
Rough day, but I'll get through it. D3 gave me a big hug & kiss before I left. That made me feel good.
Rob....some goals for today. I know I haven't been very good at setting these lately.
-Get my monthly reports at work done TODAY!! -Get our place cleaned. It's a bit of a mess. I've become more like my mom the past year and a messy place becomes a road block for me. If I don't have a clean house, I feel like I can't move on to other things. -Spend QT with D3. Love her so much!!
A small list, but it's about all I can handle today.
Have a good day!!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I know how hard confrontation is, believe me. I can have a bad temper when pushed too far, so I guess im the wrong person to talk to.
Our children give us the most love, more than my H could ever give me and I know you feel the same. Treasure it, and just soke it all up, it will lift you up.. that's what i've been doing today.
((((sues)))
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I think it made a big difference though that I reached out to him and showed him my love and concern. When he looks back and remembers what a dark place he was in he says he's so thankful that I got him help when everyone else had given up on him.