she just told me that she is with someone elseHELP

[Michael Mc C]

I really need to get to this point! I think once I get there then I will be okay with everything. Do you tell yourself things everyday? If so, what do you tell yourself?

Early on in this I received an email from my sister. She said "you are a good man, you are a good provider." I told her that this was going to be my mantra - I was joking at the time.

However she didn't let me leave it at that. She told me that as a mantra it tells ME everything. She told me to look at it, simple as it is, and find out where there were any doubts.

There are none.

I am a good man. I am full of love that I share with those that would have it. I live a good and decent life. I am responsible and honor my commitments to the best of my abiliity. I live with integrity and am proud of what I can do and have done.

I am a good provider. I have so much debt right now that it's hard to believe but I don't simply provide financially. I provide support and leadership to anyone who needs or asks for it. I provide joy to those around me. I provide my kids with a role model through my behavior, whether or not they see all that I do. I provide whatever I can, whenever I can.

This little mantra of mine says so much more than "I'm good". It reaffirms who I am.

I don't sit in the corner repeating this to myself. I never needed to convince myself of what these words say. I just needed to listen. Sometimes I need to remind myself that these comments are indeed true but those occassions are becoming infrequent.

If my W decides to live outside of my goodness and does not want to share what I provide, it is her loss. It doesn't make her a bad person though. I despise what she has done but I will always love her. I will not expend any energy trying to force the benefits of ME on anyone who does not want them.