Get Me On A Smoother Ride....Need Advice #7

[SueS]

Good morning everyone-

Thank you so much! It's a rough day today. I'm having a hard time figuring out what to say & how to approach it. Do I come out and just say.....H, what's going on with OW?....I know this is a full blown A, so there's no sense in denying it anymore..???? I don't know. I know that would put him on the defensive right away, but I don't know what to say.

So, I think I may have ruined some of H's plans last night. He left to go workout and came back about an hour & 1/2 later. I truly think he was planning on seeing her, but I threw a wrench into his plans by asking him what he was doing & by him knowing I saw the underwear. Sick, just sick. I woke up around 11:00 to him getting something out of his drawer. He asked if I had any money. All of a sudden he forgot that we didn't have milk for D3's breakfast. ????? He left to go get that. Seems to me that he came back right away, but who knows.

Starting......I wanted to answer your question. I don't think I can take this much longer. Trust me, had H been home last night when I was having my mini-breakdown, it would have happened right then & there. You said that H is doing all of this in front of me. This may sound strange, but in a way, although he knows I'm aware of things, I really think he still thinks he's tricking me and that I don't see it all. He'll find out that I do when I talk to him. The other question you had was about finances. Yes, in a way, H and I are a bit dependent on each other financially, mostly because of D3. I think if I had to, I could find a way to make it work, but H would still have to be responsible for some of D3's expenses to help me out.

I don't want to do this and I don't want to go anti-DB in my conversation, but at some point in time I feel that this has to happen and that it has to be a blunt and direct conversation. Otherwise, I don't think he'll truly understand what I know and how it's effecting me.

As far as the ED & Levitra, H has felt for the past few years that he has a problem with this. For me it was not big deal. I didn't see a difference. I think this is just another HUGE hit to his self-esteem, on top of the fact that he feels he's not where he should be in his career. The two biggest issues men seem to have are both affecting my H. And Joie, no, I don't think H bought the Levitra for us. Why keep it in his car??

H has not slept in our bed for a week, has pushed WAY far away from me (us) now the past week and is avoiding any communication. Yet, the one thing he is doing is continuing to wear his wedding ring. In the past, when H has gotten upset, the first thing he does is takes that off.....because he knows how it affects me.

Rough day, but I'll get through it. D3 gave me a big hug & kiss before I left. That made me feel good.

Rob....some goals for today. I know I haven't been very good at setting these lately.

-Get my monthly reports at work done TODAY!!
-Get our place cleaned. It's a bit of a mess. I've become more like my mom the past year and a messy place becomes a road block for me. If I don't have a clean house, I feel like I can't move on to other things.
-Spend QT with D3. Love her so much!!

A small list, but it's about all I can handle today.

Have a good day!!

SueS