Wife called at 7:30 to talk to 5D. She caught us at Christmas in the Park, a x-mas light display. I was in the process of getting pulled over by police for going wrong way by accident. I was laughing about it when she called. Got pulled over going 3mph. She said, "Oh no, you aren't going to get a ticket are you." I said no just going to have to turn around and find the place to pay. I then said I needed to talk with her when she was done talking with 5D. Overheard her say to 5D she was so glad we were doing that. 5D was excited. Love, etc...then me again. I really had nothing to say and just wanted her to talk, but she was busy working a ball game. I said, "I know you are working hard and it's not important I'll tell you later." She really wanted me to tell her but I then got busy paying and cars behind me I just said I can't now and, "don't work too hard."
Positives - 1)Cheerful, laughing, etc about getting pulled over. Hilarious really. I was in a great mood. 2) She blew up my theory of trying to avoid contact for 4 days. 3) I heard the sweetness in her voice. She was not angry or in that whatever tone that hurts so bad. 4) She was willing to talk to me before and after talking with 5D. 5) I was considerate/understanding/validating of her work and lack of time. 6) She caught 5D and I doing something fun that she would like to do...looking at x-mas lights at that park. 7) It costs money and she again sees how I am spending money to enjoy life. 8) This was at 7:30pm. It implies 5D ate dinner, did HW, and bathed prior to going. Thus, it shows I have ducks in row and more responsible than past. It also reminds her of conversation we had a week or so ago about how I had done this very thing to allow us time for fun. 9) No us talk by me and no negative talk by her(papers, etc) 10) I left her wondering what it was I wanted to talk about...I think this is good.
Negatives 1) It felt so much like when you first date and can't say anything right. Further illustrating my need to communicate better. I am not sure if I said where I was when going into how I got pulled over. Thus, it might not have been clear until later. She got the story but the sequence of events were out of order at the very least.
My plan for next few week or so is to continue to leave her alone. 1) In fact, be darker...Wife will have 5D for next 4days starting Wed. I have no reason to contact her. I can see where all contact can be eliminated until near our dating and wedding anniversaries. 2) Wife knows I will take 5D to church Sunday morning at 9:00am which is my next day. I do not need to call to confirm. So, I will let wife call me for a change. If not, I will just arrive at 9. This won't happen though. WAW will call, it's just her nature. 3) Part of something I want is to pick-up 5D when wife is unable to after-school. But I am not going to ask if she is able W, Th, or F. If I do, then she will get angry toward me when she can or cannot. If I don't, she might consider my requests and her choices. She knows what I want, I don't need to tell her again. 4) Continue to avoid contacting anyone she knows. It is not in my interest for her to know exactly what I am doing/feeling. She needs to wonder, as she is doing, and continue to heal by me giving her space, time, and vision. 5) Work on communication skills through books, audio books, online studies so I am ready when she does initiate contact.
