sues- Im sorry that has happend. but on the other spectrum, I feel like I don't need or want him anymore.. especially since last night...
Well it got uglier last night~ big fight.. and of course im the bad guy. I was looking on the computer for his laborer pay and I was looking at the wrong thing and I don't him he quoted the guy the wrong number, then jumped down my throat and started calling me names etc.. in front of the kids and the guy on the phone.,I got up and told him "im just about done with you" I walked upstairs and just started doing laundry etc. Then he started yelling up the stairs. I told him "you are 42 years old and you talk to me like you are 15 years old" You have to call me names, and for what? I don't need this anymore, Im tired of it, I was wrong, so sue me, doesn't give you the right to call me names"
Then of course his focus was on that I told him the wrong number, when it should have been how he handled the situation. so to top it all off my 5 year old didn't want me to come downstairs because he didn't want daddy yelling at me.
That just tore me up. I don't know what to do guys, im really held hostage here, even if i was to think about seperating. Im a Sahm so we rely soley on his income. Even though I do a lot of work for him at home, I don't get paid or anything. At this point, though I never want to hurt my kids, sometimes I think this is hurting them more.
He slept downstairs, thank the lord! I knew he planned to go hunting today, although i got up at 6am, I didn't get out of bed because I didn't want to see him. so I waited till he left. Hopefull he'll be gone all day.
Im scared and hurt and just tired of it all. This is supposed to be a happy time with xmas coming and the kids, and he is just one big a$$hole.
sorry, there was no other word to describe him.
time will tell I guess.
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I am here listening, I don't know what to tell ya but I know it it does help when somebody is here for you. Looks like that is me
Maybe things will calm down by the time he gets home. I know what you mean about finances. Even we both worked (when she had a job) We can't afford what we have with out the other.
Husband
Last edited by husband; 12/04/0712:28 PM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Thanks, im just so tired of everything. My boys are so so great and I don't want to disrupt there life, but how much can I continue to take? I really feel he just lusts after me, that there is no real connection on an emotional level, because if there was, how could he say the things he says??
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
My h was extremely controlling when we got married (should of had a clue then) and very jealous.. of course over time this changed and he's not like that anymore, but im differentt too.. Much much more independant... and sometimes I feel I just don't need him in my life because of all the bad things he does and continues to do, you guys don't even know the half of it.
Originally Posted By: tiredandlost
Well it got uglier last night~ big fight.. and of course im the bad guy. I was looking on the computer for his laborer pay and I was looking at the wrong thing and I don't him he quoted the guy the wrong number, then jumped down my throat and started calling me names etc.. in front of the kids and the guy on the phone.
Tired, Unfortunately it sounds like he is still pretty controlling. Over the past five months of our situation, the W and I have never argued in front of the kids. And I can't recall either of us ever resorting to name calling.
Originally Posted By: tiredandlost
I don't know what to do guys, im really held hostage here, even if i was to think about seperating. Im a Sahm so we rely soley on his income. Even though I do a lot of work for him at home, I don't get paid or anything. At this point, though I never want to hurt my kids, sometimes I think this is hurting them more.
You need to do what's best for you and those kids. Separated or divorced, you H will still be responsible for supporting both the kids and you so I wouldn't let that be a deciding factor.
Sorry to see you in this rough spot. Hope you have a better day today.
He is controlling to the point of wanting his way. I do my own thing without he caring about it.. he doesn't dictate that, but he is extremley opinionated and things he always right. if am wrong at any point, it rams it down my throat.
I know what your saying about the support thing.. but I can't very well just up and leave, with no money or place to go.
Things have to change though.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
unfortunately, we are both fire signs.. great:( We are both emotional people that way, I definately hold back. But last night I lost it.. but only for a second.
Im of course feeling guilty over doing it in front of the boys.. although my 2 year continued to play with his toys, my 5 year knew what was going on.
My H needs a good swift kick in the a$$.
I am going to call an laywer today.. just to cover myself. I won't be able to meet with one, but maybe they can talk to me on the phone, just to know where I stand.
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Im of course feeling guilty over doing it in front of the boys..
tal,
I hope you did not take my post wrong, I did not mean YOU DID ANYTHING WRONG. You had a reacton. I wish My W would start something. That would get the ball rolling. Do not kick yourself. what happened happened. Lets move on now. If your 5 yo says anything just tell him you are sorry you yelled and leave it at that. Today is another day.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
TAL, Don't beat yourself up over losing your temper ... we all do it from time to time. Yelling at you like a 15 yr old, in front of the kids, while on the phone ... nice (NOT).
One technique I use with my H ... he can go on and on and on about things and NOT let up. If I do one thing wrong and I hear about it for an hour! One time this happened, instead of getting all defensive, I agreed with him. Yes, dear, that was a stupid thing to do ... He shut up. And, if you continue to beat yourself up, sometimes they'll even start defending you. You agree with them and it takes away their ammunition. I guess it's one of those 'cheeseless tunnel' techniques.
Good luck with the call to a lawyer. Hope today is a better one for you.
I agreed with him. Yes, dear, that was a stupid thing to do ... He shut up. And, if you continue to beat yourself up, sometimes they'll even start defending you. You agree with them and it takes away their ammunition. Joie
Wow Joie,
this is my stratagy in most of my dealings with people. But never had thought about using it on the W. Thanks You are the woman... And tal one more time. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG
HHHHUUUUUGGGGSSSSS
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
