In my sitch, my W did not ike to have conflict if she didn't get her way. She came from a family where the women "ruled" and the men were doormats. Anytime I would object to her point of view she saw it as a low in our marriage and anytime I agreed, it was a high. She told me she was sick of the roller-coaster ride and that she was supposed to be happy in this R. If she wasn't, then God was telling her to leave.
I look at the conflict and anger as signs that we are NOT doormats and need to negotiate solutions that are in the best interest of the family as a whole. We can agree to disagree but should not make any major decisions unless we BOTH agree. Since my W wanted to move 600 miles to be with her family for her own benefit and nothing else, I had to say no because I knew it wasn't best for our family and because I wasn't going to give up my job with no prospects on the horizon.
She felt that, as her husband, I was to sacrifice whatever so she could be happy (that's how her parents were). So, one day she visited her folks, called me and said that unless I moved, I would never see her again. I did, if only to save my family but, in the end, the inevitable happened: her mother took over as emotional support and I was put on the sidelines until I had had enough. Then she left me.
Conflicts are always going to happen. That's a given. The key is to learn to resolve those conflicts as a team with validation, patience and understanding. Because my W always relied on her mother to guide her in her decisions, I always was wrong because she felt her mother could do no wrong.
So in my case, conflict and anger did split us up, if only because I refused to be the doormat she wanted me to be.
