TAL, Don't beat yourself up over losing your temper ... we all do it from time to time. Yelling at you like a 15 yr old, in front of the kids, while on the phone ... nice (NOT).
One technique I use with my H ... he can go on and on and on about things and NOT let up. If I do one thing wrong and I hear about it for an hour! One time this happened, instead of getting all defensive, I agreed with him. Yes, dear, that was a stupid thing to do ... He shut up. And, if you continue to beat yourself up, sometimes they'll even start defending you. You agree with them and it takes away their ammunition. I guess it's one of those 'cheeseless tunnel' techniques.
Good luck with the call to a lawyer. Hope today is a better one for you.
