DR Chapter 2 - Start with a Beginner's Mind

[Jamesjohn]

For example, if I were to call him to say "kid needs school fees paid, split bill with me," I'd expect him to do as before... he'd say "ok, check forthcoming." Well... it took me a million times to get burned before deciding I'd better expect the worst out of him. So, now I just usually don't ask or even request.

I'm wondering if there might be a way to say sorta the same thing, but say it differently.

This may sound kinda petty, but for me, in certain situations, "need" is a trigger word for me to go into a defensive mode. Exerts lots of pressure.

Could there be another way for you to ask for what you want, and for what you need?

For example, maybe something like, "The kids have some school fees coming up, and I was wondering if you could split the bill with me?" Or any kind of way with a slightly different approach.

To be honest with you, bluekeys, I see that you NOT saying anything about it will lead to disaster, causing resentment and bad feelings on your part.

In his mind, he may be perfectly happy and willing to help with the kid money stuff, but feels forced into it. That pressure thing again.

Your ultimate goal might be to have him help with the bills, without it being such a fight. What different and creative steps can you take to help get there?