JJ, looking back, my biggest hurdle to overcome was that I always set myself up for failure. My STBX is going through a huge MLC, and I had a difficult time seeing him as going through a metamorphis. I expected him to do, think, be as the man I used to know. In other words, I expected positive reactions and thoughts from him whenever we needed to interact during this separation/divorce situation. For example, if I were to call him to say "kid needs school fees paid, split bill with me," I'd expect him to do as before... he'd say "ok, check forthcoming." Well... it took me a million times to get burned before deciding I'd better expect the worst out of him. So, now I just usually don't ask or even request.
Now, of course... many requests come through an attorney. And, he's still dishing out the worst.
But, I'd advise anyone to expect the worst so not to set themselves up for failure. On any interaction, just keep any requests, questions, statements simple and expect nothing in return.
