Wanted to locate children and speak to them. I had to speak to WAW and it ended up to be a long convo. A good one overall and even though I did not achieve much in the R department, it went from D talk to expressing how we feel about each other. I did not DB much but this is what came out of it;
1) We care about each other very much. 2) She thought I hated her for doing what she did. I told her that I was very upset at what she had done but did not hate her. 3) She feels very bad about herself for hurting me but I told her that we were both to blame for the issues in our marriage and I took responsibility for the mistakes that I made. 4) That I forgive her and I forgive myself but It did not mean that I would forget. That these were 2 different things. 5) That if we got back together, it would be a new relationship not the old one. 6) That she was jealous of me for going out on my singles nights (only been once) and thought I was moving on. Although she said she had no right to be jealous. 7) Would be jealous if I had a girlfriend (I am not willing to do this being married and still loving her). 8) Does not like the fact that she is losing the relationship with my family. 9) Told her I was not ready to move on yet even though everyone I know (apart from everone here) wants me to and wanted to save our marriage and that if she wanted to end it she would have to because I will not. 10)She knows the door is open for the time being if she wants to come back and also knows that I know that I can not change or control her to make her do so. 10)There are things she misses about me and us and she knows that I do too. 11) The OM was protecting himself when he verbally attacked me two weeks ago and tried to put a wedge between us. 12)She understands it is difficult to talk with her because it hurts but told her that I love talking to her. However, I told her if we are to do this, that out of respect for me, I do not want to talk to her about OM, her and OM or anything related to that sitch. She understood & agreed.
I did tell her how I feel about her, yes very unDB and I knew that she would not recipricate but it felt good to get all this out in the open and tell each other how we felt. I told her that it was difficult to open up to her, that it was raw and I was afraid to.
I feel that it was positive overall and got some encouragement from it but not taking any real expectations. Too dangerous to do that IMHO.
Well it is a nice change from how I was feeling earlier.
