I'm glad you're thinking about getting away for a few days. You deserve the time away with friends. This is not about you. The anger isn't about you. Please don't forget that. Your M may not be perfect, but what you're H is going through isn't only about your R. It's mostly about him, his shortcomings, his unhappiness and discontent. It did get bad with J. He totally withdrew from me and the kids. He wasn't seriously involved with OW to the point of being deeply involved. He was though just as angry and unreachable as your H. He took his anger out on us with his moods and what he said, but deep down he wasn't angry with us. He was angry at himself for screwing up and not having the life he wanted. He hated his life and that included us unfortunately. He was also very selfish at that point. It's hard to explain, but he could hardly keep his head above water to function so all he concentrated on was himself and trying to find anything that would make him feel better. The prob was that he could only feel happy for little stretches of time so he became more and more angry and unhappy. It took a trip to the Dr. and ADs to pull him out of that. We're very lucky that he realized his life was spinning out of control and accepted help. A lot of men see this as a sign of weakness and won't talk to a Dr. about their depression. I didn't realize what it was for quite a while, but when I saw the list of symptoms of depression - J had most of them. I showed him the list and told him that I love him and would go to the Dr. with him. Whether we were together or not, he needed to be healthy and happy again. It took months for him to pull out of the depression and recover. I didn't do so well in handling it \:\( I think it made a big difference though that I reached out to him and showed him my love and concern. When he looks back and remembers what a dark place he was in he says he's so thankful that I got him help when everyone else had given up on him.

Hugggggs... hang in there. I know how much this hurts Sue.