Thanks, Lwb, Hurtin', Joie, all, for your support and kind words.
I don't know if this will help or harm my situation. Time will tell.
Hurtin', you're probably right that I should have held onto this letter a little longer before deciding to send it. Usually I do. But it has been several days now since the last major exposition I wrote and sent to W, in which I asked her to stop criticizing and for once add something constructive to the conversation by offering her own thoughts and feelings. She's been silent on that, and evasive whenever I try to follow it up.
So I have had a lot of time to think and ponder what I would say. And after my counseling session yesterday, when she began to ask about my session (again) and complained about me shutting her out (as if!) as another sign of my lack of communication, it led to another disagreement. That argument was cut short when she decided it was really beginning to focus on her instead of just me. She claimed she had to get off the phone to attend to our S's, but I knew better and said, "okay, go ahead and run then."
W said "I'm not running. I really have to go." I said, "Fine. Good bye. Good Night."
I duly noted that she never called back to finish the conversation either, much as I expected, when she surely could have after our S's were put to bed. So I took all my thoughts and wrote them up and sent them to her in an email (which I posted above).
So, for better or worse, the email was already sent, late last night. And given that my W has shown no respect for me -- and that respect is a necessary requisite for us to ever be able to work things out -- allowing her to use me as her punching bag and failing to defend myself or the truth for the sake of keeping the peace is not helpful after all. It's a cheeseless tunnel that I am not going down anymore.
I have since spoken to W on the phone. And while she allowed a few "pregnant" pauses occur (with the possible expectation I might say something more), we stuck to talking about our S's (especially about S6's fever.)
I am sure she's most likely gotten the mail by now, no doubt. And so far, it looks like she's ignoring it. If she follows the pattern I have been observing for these many months, she won't say anything about it, since there's nothing she wants to admit to me about herself anymore.
No expectations. No surprise. If this proves out, then I'm done with her.
