Don't know what I'm doing anymore - Help.

[SirPrizeMe]

Ann, I have some more questions -
You said you initiated sex with H one afternoon, and he was happy afterwards, yet you were miserable. Why miserable? That must be really hard for you. This is the thing that will build up resentment if you keep it up. If you initiate sex, and then he enjoys it, then can you just be happy he is happy? Or if you're not going to be happy, then maybe don't initiate - you're not ready.

Sunday he wouldn't kiss me cause he said he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable. I told him that we discussed that the night before and i told him it was sexualy stuff and not a simple kiss. He was just trying to twist what i had said to make me feel like an idiot. I'm not going to let that work anymore.

If he won't kiss you and says it might make you feel uncomfortable, can you just... kiss HIM? Take the lead? Can you be strong? Can you just say you're sorry that things are so tricky between you? Show him what you can?

There is a school of thought that says you need to address your problems head on in order to fix your marriage. Then there is another that says, you should just have fun together, rediscover the joy in togetherness, and save the "work on your problems" for later.

How would you feel about meditating on him, and thinking about what you like about him? about what attracted you to him before? about the good things you see in him? how would you feel about doing that stuff - all by yourself?