Im so sorry. Would it make you feel better to talk to your Mom? I hate to think of you alone and hurting. Are your parents coming to visit soon or is there a way you could get away for a couple of days? It sounds like you could use a break.
Thanks everyone! You know lwb, H has been like this before, but then he got better. Sounds funny, but I know that he knows I'm aware of the affair. Too much has happened. Me asking about where he's been, the phone calls, catching him on the phone....etc. So, tonight I caught him doing something else. He came home and started to change into his workout clothes. I needed to tell him about D3's medicine and remind him to take her snowpants & boots to school tomorrow. I was walking in the bedroom & he had just grabbed a pair of "sexy" underwear from his drawer. Now, I bought those for him for me!! He knows how I feel about him wearing those. The look on his face was complete surprise and anger.
Me: What are you doing? H: Going to workout. Me: Then what? H: Nothing!
Yeah right!! Why would you put sexy underwear on under your workout shorts????? My thought is that he won't be home until very late tonight.
I wanted to get out of here, but I'll do it tomorrow night.
After asking him those questions and his snapping at me, I finished telling him about D3's medicine & snow clothes. Then he came storming out into the living room. He said....You tell daycare that I'm not F'ing paying for her care if they're sending her outside in this cold weather and she get sick. He said it right in front of D3. She started to cry. He kind of apologized to her. I sat there wondering to myself. Do I want this angry man in our lives? Not the angry one.
He's just kind of lurking around here. I think waiting for time to pass. He'll likely go workout for 2 hours and then head to see OW??? Just a guess. It really makes me wonder what the sitch is with OW & her H. I'll ask that when I get the nerve up to talk to H. It has to happen soon.
SueS
Last edited by SueS; 12/04/0702:47 AM.
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Yeah, I've been thinking of trying to get away for a few days. I have a couple of good friends that each live within a few hours of me that I haven't seen for a long time. Maybe soon.
I know that you and J seperated, but did it get this bad? Did he get this angry? It's just unbearable at times. There's no calming him or compromising with him when he's like this. His typical deal is to get mad and say.......You tell....or You call....or You do.....etc. Then he throws it in my lap and expects me to handle it. Just like the thing at daycare with him not wanting her to go outside when it's cold.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Oh, let me add that I found a prescription for Levitra in his car. Not snooping. I used his car yesterday and D3 asked for gum, which he keeps in his compartment between the seats. There it was!! He'd gotten it while I was out of town. Now, H has experimented with over-the-counter ones. At one point he complained about it. I just suggested that he go back to his doctor if he was that concerned. I didn't see it as a problem, but he did. So, now who thinks my H is having a PA???
Another part of his problem/MLC!!
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I know this wasn't directed towards me, but wanted to answer "yes" to both of those. Your H, however uncaring he may seem at the surface, is battling the demons right now. Hiding things from you, lying to you, probably lying to OW about how bad your M is, avoiding time with D, snapping at her when he knows better, not sleeping well, drinking too much to numb things...
These are coming to a head for him.
Time for calm, cool and collected Sue. Time to plan your confrontation. Your list earlier (H on couch more, etc) shows that things are changing. HUGS!
I had to google Levitra (I get them all confused!), but WOW. This isn't proof, but its definately odd only because he didn't mention it to you, the one person he is having sex with.........
Wow, what would happen if you mentioned it to him? Have you pictured what you will say to him, expected his responses, etc?
I'll think its a heart med, and its not. Or the other way around...they all have the same side effects....drooling, seizures, skin falling off, head rolling off....etc.
