.. Here is what I think as of this moment, which could change. If I disappeared, no calls, nothing, it wouldnt even dawn on her for at least a few days, then I might get a call, then it would just be "what a jerk for not calling / seeing the kids" but basically if I evaporated, no big deal. That "feeling" is still the hardest thing to stomach through all this. YOU DONT MATTER. YOU NEVER DID. AND YOU NEVER WILL. Ugh, that bites.
CVA, I know exactly how that feels, except mine is more extreme, I really do believe that I could fall of the face off the earth, die tomorrow, and my W wouldn't ever call to check up on me, or show that she ever cared, just go on blaming me for her problems. I am now at the point, that it doesn't bother me as much as it used too. What does bother me, is that we can't even be friends, we can't talk like we used too, we have to stay far away from each other like strangers. It is a hard thing to deal with, but you cry, get angry, etc... and finally you wake up, dry the tears, let go of the anger, and hopefully learn from the experience. I know that you will do that. Take care.
