Maybe not too complicated to understand

[Michael Mc C]

Had some ups and downs this weekend. We went to W's brother's house for a holiday dinner and ended up leaving instead of spending the night. Things were getting a bit dicey so it was thought to be for the best.

After we got home and got the kids into bed she went out to my car (hers was left at BIL's house) to make a call. We were in the middle of conversation, however, so I followed her out.

Although she was annoyed she "let" me have my say. I told her, speaking not as her husband but as her friend, that the plan she had made seemed very risky. The fact that she was drivig down there, had never met him before, etc. It took some discussing but she agreed that it would be best, for everyone ELSE, for him to come up here. She has absolutely no doubts about this but asked him to come up to appease everyone's concerns. Of course as far as concerns go, that's just the start of it.

Anyway, so I told her that if she goes forward with the plan to meet him, I don't think I'd be able to share the house any longer. I asked her, for the preservation of the holidays for the kids, to postpone the meeting until after the first of the year.

She said if the plans weren't already made then she would but that it isn't fair to ask for them to change now. So, here we are a few days away from when he's supposed to come up this way. She knows that she'll be moving to her mother's after this weekend, the problem is, the kids do not...

So I have to ask myself what is the best way to handle this. Since they will refuse to take any real responsibility with what they're doing, they won't change their plans. Do I continue with having her leave, telling the kids (together) on Tuesday or do I suck it up and have her return after the weekend so we give the kids more time?

I don't want her in the house after this. Our house isn't large enough for us to stay out of each other's hair. I guess this all should have been thought out a little better. I don't want to impact the kids too much but God, I'm not sure how I can handle having her here as if nothing has happened.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.