A question for the ladies

[Dom R]

I think her post was more allegorical, in that your words had a flavor of dogmatism that is reminiscent of Sunday morning sermons. An ad hominem attack would have read more like "you are wrong BECAUSE you are a christian",

what, you mean something like,

"So sayeth the Morality and Ethics Police Chief, and legend-in-his-own-mind..."

sure sounds like an ad hominem attack to me.

[Burgbud]

I think her post was more allegorical, in that your words had a flavor of dogmatism that is reminiscent of Sunday morning sermons. An ad hominem attack would have read more like "you are wrong BECAUSE you are a christian",

what, you mean something like,

"So sayeth the Morality and Ethics Police Chief, and legend-in-his-own-mind..."

sure sounds like an ad hominem attack to me.

Except that you specifically excluded that part when you wrote:

"It's nice how you completely ignored my 100% rational, not religious reasoning in my post, and made an ad hominem attack against me instead. Based solely on the fact that I am a Christian, and having nothing to do with what I posted."

Try to keep up.

[sat567]

Divorce isnt resolving the issues. It's modelling "job hopping until you find the 'perfect' match for you".

Not necessarily. If a couple (or one partner) has attempted to resolve issues, and the other partner is resistant to the point of immobility, then there is no resolution to be reached, save, of course, the option of turning off whatever part of you is necessary to continue living an "ethical" life with your spouse. And then what are you teaching your child? "Sacrifice your Self for the benefit of others"? "If you make a poor choice, you're stuck with it forever"? "Unless your mate is abusive, he/she is your mate for life"?

And there's always a bit of wiggle room in the definition of "abuse", isn't there? If your spouse refuses to make any effort to understand, validate, or meet your basic needs, isn't that a form of emotional abuse?

And I know if was the first analogy to pop into your mind, but I want my kids to do a bit of "job hopping" (for the right reasons), in order to find what's right for them.

Hairdog

[RealJourney]

In essence, I agree wiyth Dom
s sentiments, but they are really not pertinent to the people of this board, who have tried every which way to find help for what certainly seems to be, abusive situations.

[LustForLife]

LFL, I know for me it goes beyond the kids, that there's this loyalty factor that's mixed into the equation ( this was discussed just recently somewhere here). Weird stuff.

I know that's true.
I am surprised I still had any loyalty to him after the bomb ...but I did.
It felt "right" to get back together even after everything that happened.
I still loved him and he loved me. In our own way I guess. It's not ideal but it is real and it is good for our children. I know it is in my heart (and my head).
We never fight in front of them and we are very affectionate. Out biggest issues now still remain in the bedroom which the kids don't see anyways, so...
I'll just keep plugging away at the M until I feel like I just can't plug anymore. Will I ever feel that way? I just don't know.
The unknown is the worst.

LFL

[Lillieperl]

Divorce isnt [sic] resolving the issues.

Sometimes it is. Or sometimes the partners resolve the issues and THEN get divorced.

[Burgbud]

(blackfoot) Women want to marry me so they can trap me with my word and honor, things they dont ken or feel obliged by.

This could mean you don't believe women don't understand honor the way you do, nor do they feel obliged to keep their word or be honorable the way you do. Or it could mean you don't believe women understand honor nor do they feel obliged to keep their word *at all*.

Which way is it?

Being naive about what others are capable of seems foolish, but others also tend to give what we expect of them. It's a dilemma.

[MJontheMend]

It's just not there and never really has been. Always love, but not desire.

Maybe you two have very similar histamine groups so you smell like siblings to each other. You could try buying your H some musky cologne that you like or vice versa.