lwb - I understand how you feel.. it's a difficult talk to have, but you are better for having it. You can't imagine the self esteem and self respect it took to do that!!
As for the house sitch, here is what I'm doing.. agree on a value for the house. Subtract what you owe and that's the equity to be "split". I will then apply that amount of equity to her half of the bills. Works out pretty good for her.
Unfortunately, to get his name off, that would constitute a refi and the rates aren't that great right now.
My W hasn't thought (or been told) to think about that yet. I'll refi when the rates are right.. it can actually be put in the decree that their name be removed from the mortgage, bills etc. That's where they will have you refi.
