Sandi The thing that I want to return and to feel normal and not fake is to "want" to do special things for my H.

Normal, as in how? I think the tern Normal needs to be redefined. I don’t imagine any normal in your or my life.

The only thing I think is normal is a New Normal you can look for. Baby ;\) the old normal ain’t going to happen. I learned that by reading a woman’s forum.

I just could not stand to sit there and watch some boring TV program..
I have thought/done the same thing Sandi. BB watches the same re-runs almost every night. How many times can a person watch “Three’s Company”?

Sometimes I read books the forum discusses and right now I am reading a thick IRS volunteer tax prepares manual. :finger down throat:

I have seen too many programs where a dog does heroic things to save people form you, name it. I know pets are incredible, but when they are portrayed similar to cartoon super heroes, that is a bit much. I read books then too, sitting right next to BB.

I will confess to going to my computer too, busted!

Sandi, sometimes I listen to my tape player or MP3 player while BB watches “her programs” I feel I owe it to her just because I need to hold up my part of the R.

The shoe gets put on her foot too. When I put something on the TV I like, but she doesn’t, she sleeps while I do light foot rubs.

I don’t feel like I want to do or have it that way, but I do it, just because. If I didn’t just do it because, I would feel selfish. If I don’t do it I know the R would be worse and come to a point where I would rather separate.

This way I know I tried what I thought would help and am not giving up. I also eat liver and onions on rare occasions. I eat spinach w/o lots of butter. I go places my W likes that have little interest to me. Not often, but I go and try to be happy. I always find something I learned or liked that I wasn’t expecting.

For starters, if you have to, watch the weather/news together. Fox then CNN or visa-versa or pick something else.

Lou