Jar, I wish I knew the answer for that. More importantly, how do we get them to respect us again as well, so they no longer pull this crap?
With my W, I try to look beyond the veneer of insane, selfish hostility to try to find the core person and their soul somewhere in her physical form. I find it more and more difficult at times to locate that person I fell in love with, but something still tells me I should continue to look for it. I believe my faith in God demands that I continue the effort, but I fear I am losing hope.
When I met my W she was pretty messed up emotionally. She was trying to overcome the hard aftermath from her teenage years and her early "adulthood" years where she made a lot of bad relationship choices. The woman I came to fall in love with was truly repentant and wanting to get her life back in some order of sanity -- and for 17 years with me, I thought she was truly a wonderful mature and respectable adult; a real woman.
But now it's like the unruly teenager has reared her ugly head. I can't or don't want to believe that is who she really is. I have to believe that the real person is still there, but will she ever be allowed to come back to the fore?
