I don't think the earlier advice is always to keep an eye on the dark side, but just to keep somewhat of an even keel so you don't become emotionally exhausted thinking about everything.
Bingo.
By the end of the summer, I had worn myself down. My W was also acting fairly friendly towards me for much of the summer, in many ways we were getting along better than we had in a while. Come to find out that she was talking to once (and Future?) OM throughout the summer. No one here is trying to rain on your parade, but having seen what could have been interpreted at positive signs turn into just what they were, W being friendly to ease her own guilt (and seen that in numerous other threads -- generally, the WAS does not want to hurt the other person), I don't think it's being negative to point out that friendliness just might be that -- friendliness. Having expectations raised by believing that a turnaround is just around the corner can lead you to give up hope prematurely. People come and drop off of these boards all of the time once they realize that the turnaround isn't going to be quick. No expectations. Beginner's mind and buckle in for the long haul.
Sorry, Pud, that's not being negative.
One other thought, don't focus on the negative either. Don't assume the worse. Your W can come back to you. She can turn around. You can have a wonderful life together. There aren't any guarantees, but focusing on the negative is just as bad as focusing on the positives. Mako's got it right, even keel.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
