I know you are right DomR.......I KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT! I have to force myself to do it, but it is so hard when I can't stand it. The other night he came to lay down on top of my bed while I was getting ready for bed and I nearly froze up. I didn't know what was coming. But, as it turned out, it had nothing to do with me at all.....it was something else completely. In a couple of minutes he got up and left out. He had to have my little dog put to sleep and the next day I was really tore up about it. I was laying on the bed crying and he came and laid down behind me and put his arms around me and told me he was sorry and that he loved me. I said I knew and I mumbled that I loved him too. But, I coudn't really respond to him by turning toward him and putting my arms around him. I just laid there with my back to him. That is what scares me. I can't respond to him. I am a WAW in my heart! You'll keep talking to me and help me. I know I have to help myself.....I know that, but I can't let things get to the place where I was before when I contacted the OM. I have been thinking about OM a lot and I know I shouldn't b/c it is playing with fire. I don't plan to go there again. I don't want a repeat of what happen a few months ago. I don't know how I allowed myself to get back at this place except......by doing nothing and just waiting for "feelings" that wouldn't come.

Please don't give up on me.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!