Have really been weird the last two days...Not depressed but just thinking of how things would have been if I didn't get married so young... I know stop thinking in the past.. I know.. but I wish I knew then what I know now.. I definately wouldn't have gotten married so young.. I was really stupid.
My h was extremely controlling when we got married (should of had a clue then) and very jealous.. of course over time this changed and he's not like that anymore, but im differentt too.. Much much more independant... and sometimes I feel I just don't need him in my life because of all the bad things he does and continues to do, you guys don't even know the half of it. Although he is better, sometimes I just don't think he knows me or wants to know me. Im just a figure in his life that takes care of his kids etc..
Anyways, I know that's in the past, but its like what the heck was I thinking I could have been with someone who was respectful and loving and loved me for me.. but I can't dwell I guess.. My father didn't even go to my wedding because he didn't approve.. should have listened to him.
On top of it.. today I found a charge on the bank statement for the movies... he never goes by himself.. wth?? I asked and he got mad and hung up.. I wasn't mean or anything, he got defensive.. so what's the big deal.. I just don't want to be back where I started.
In my heart I am lonley..
Sorry to write a book... if you got this far.. thanks.
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I could have been with someone who was respectful and loving and loved me for me.. but I can't dwell I guess.. My father didn't even go to my wedding because he didn't approve.. should have listened to him.