It's not look at the dark side, but also not to hide your head in the sand either. We're all our own experts, stuff that works for one, might not work for another. You have to find your own way. That said, there's enough commonality in the success stories that bear out that: not pushing, GAL/doing your own thing/being happy in yourself, being polite/friendly/kind to the WAS while not allowing yourself to be a doormat all work.
The reality that JM and I are trying to point out to you is that analyzing/thinking about WHY your W is doing things is pointless. Again, note the positives, because they can be important and small milestones. However, until your W wants to talk to you, you don't have a married relationship with her. That's the reality. I think it's DB/DR (the books get all jumbled in my head these days) that says think of the worst that can happen -- you get divorced. Look at it in the face. Accept it as one possible outcome. Then move along and do what's required to keep that from happening. THat's not being negative, at least to me, that's being practical and realistic.
That make sense?
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
