I feel for you FLTC! My kids put up the Xmas tree at my old home on the weekend and I was not invited. Fair enough, I didn't invite her to put up the tree in my apartment. I still remember the day before I moved out, when I emptied the china cabinet of all our momentos, pictures, the kids origami and how I had to sit and cry every few minutes and then start all over again. this stuff sucks! Last night I lay in my bed and cried looking over my kids Christmas lists, it's all so sad but it is what it is. As far as the card, get a blank one and write a little Happy Birthday message, make it whatever you think is appropriate. Don't be mushy, or R oriented, just be friendly. You are being appropriate to acknowledge her special day, nothing more. Your post reminds me of what my W said once about me doing nice, romantic things for her, I believe I had sent her flowers. She said "stop doing these things, you only do them because you know I like it" FLTC just accept that you are in the "can't do anything right" hole and it can get pretty friggin deep! Take care and congrats on your first lockout here on Divorcebusting, today you are a man
