Yeah, boys are such fun. I know that girls are great too -- I've got three darling nieces that I love to death -- but the boys can be such a hoot sometimes. S3 was for a long time following his older brothers lead on loving cars and planes and such stuff, but now he's really shown his own interest in dinosaurs, so much more so than his brother. His own little boyish fascination, and it's so endearing. One of the gifts I gave him for his b'day was a little plush, stuffed triceratops. He now carries it around like a teddy bear. (The frill on the triceratops sometimes flops forward and it make it look like a baby bonnet.)
On your H, I know at times I too have been where he is in my own job. Every so often we get a project that requires me to pull one of these sorts of 30-hour stints to get it through implementation. It is a necessary evil in what I do, especially now I am back as a manager, and I regret the time it takes away from my family. While in years past W said nothing (leaving me to assume she understood), I now know she has taken these personally, however, and assumes that it is something I prefer, rather than being with her and my sons. It's childish of her, and petty -- and goes to show how out of touch with me we have become.
Originally Posted By: tiredandlost
There something that bothers me always though, ever since he did these things to me, Ive haven't felt the same for him. Don't get me wrong I do love him, but its not the blind love you have for someone in the beginning, you become cynical, I don't trust anything. I just hope and pray that im doing the right thing for my boys, because as far as Im concerned they are my top priority.. I know its not supposed to be that way, your spouse is supposed to be more important, but for me and everything ive been through with this man, its just not that way. I think if I didn't have children then I probably wouldn't be here. I would have left.
TAL, you have it right. The way it is supposed to be, is that we're supposed to put our spouses ahead of our parents (cleaving to them instead) and even ahead of our children. The reason being is that at some point our children too will leave us and they in turn must cleave to their spouses. At the end of our days, we are meant to still be putting our M and our spouses ahead of all others (excepting God).
But under these circumstances, because our spouses have opted to leave and abandon their commitments to us, we have to shift our priorities to place our children's needs ahead of theirs. The purpose of the M is for the family. Our children are the innocent members of the family, so our concern naturally turns to them, as it should be.
And it is natural to feel less for this stranger in our midst, and to distrust them. I look at my W and I still feel the passion welling up within me for that person I fell in love with, and I also feel the pain for the loss of who she was. I am not at ease with this stranger that has taken her place, and I will never be able to trust this person, not until she allows her inner soul to rekindle again, and to burn off this alien identity she is harboring.
