Of course I am about to type a long post, so I'll be sure to copy it before I hit 'submit'. We all know a long and thoughtful post is the way to lock her up...
I ended up getting stuck at work til 6pm last night. Literally stuck. Our rolling gate broke with some heavy winds and I had to wait until more people got there to physically move it. So, the evening was tossed, but that's ok.
Initiated a talk with H after an hour of him ignoring me after the girls went to bed.
I said:
I am done waiting. I am letting you go.
I will see a mortgage person this week to see how to get the house worked out (if I can afford it, etc). This blew him away.
We either need attorneys or look into mediation.
I want this marriage. I don't want our kids to have divorced/remarried parents. I don't want another woman having a hand in raising our girls.
No matter what you think, the girls WON'T be fine. Think deeply, H. Were you fine when your parents divorced.
I am not seeing anyone. You know that, H, when you sit and think about it. You know that in your heart (he agreed).
I want you happy. (he didn't believe this). I would prefer to have you happy with me, the family intact, but this isn't the way you will be happy.
I care about you, I miss you, I miss our old relationship. We have both changed so much.
This A. I can understand how you got here. I can understand why. But YOU need to understand I did nothing that justified it, and you need to understand the hurt. You should have left me first. I am tired of taking the entire blame for where we are.
There is a difference between separating and 'getting space', and separating because there is someone else. I am not willing to separate because there is someone else.
Our marriage was bad, you made it worse, and by you wanting a divorce, it will not make it better, in fact, it will get even worse.
You need to move out, when you are ready. I am not leaving. The girls are not leaving. You can come and go and we will both have access to the girls and make this as easy on them as possible. There is no 'good' time for you to move out (before/after holidays), so don't let those things make your decision.
No more pitstops, between you working and going out. I can't watch it anymore. Stay away after work, if you are going out.
He said:
I can't believe I am breaking up two families (maybe he knows about OW's impending doom). I can't believe it. Its horrible.
You are done with me? What happened to you waiting until I was ready to make a choice?
I hurt you. I will be hurting the girls.
YOU move out. Its my house too.
I don't deserve to be happy, don't say that to me. Its not true. I should be feeling all of this hurt.
I miss us. I miss our marriage, how it was before it got bad. I miss being your friend.
What do you want me to say? (he said this about 100 times)
Why does it matter if I have feelings for someone else? You are done with me anyway.
Everything is going to change, and not for the better.
Aaaah. We ended on a peaceful note. Not much anger, just sadness. I don't know what this will bring. I have to go, I bribed D3 with Starbursts so I could type this. I owe her a game of Chutes and Ladders....
