So2
Try not to analyze the sitch or what H should or should not be thinking it will only drive you nuts.

H not getting to help set up the nursery is something he will have to deal with if he ever comes to his senses.

You need to just take care of you and your wonderful children.

Don't worry about H, you can't fix this he has to work on this himself and apparently not ready to at this point.

Also don't worry about him being with OW as the only one it hurts in the end is you and serves to keep it going when you confront him because it keeps things fresh. Use what you know only to serve as a boundry to protect yourself.
Take it easy.

JAK

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez