CVA - Moving On

[Not Much Left]

Hey H
I think we will have a lot of mutual respect for each other's desires with the kids unless she wigs out (some more?). Therefore, I am probably going to put an offer in on the house that is 1 mile away.

I would say she will probably go back to school for a period (although how she does that and takes care of the kids I have no clue) or just get a job to bide her time and make some extra money but for the most part, it will be child support and the money she will get in the settlement which if played correctly, will last a long, long time (hence, "it's cheaper to keep them then to leave them...")

I REALLY have thought about the whole control issue after a few outide factors hit me over the head this weekend.

First, Sunny pointed out that I have carried around ALL the emotion, mostly the anger, in our relationship. As smart as I think I am, I NEVER saw it that way and it is so true. Second, the Xmas lights people came to put the lights on the top of the house (I dont do that one after nearly falling off the ladder 5 yrs ago). I asked where the guy was that started the company, "oh, they are getting a divorce, my daughter is better off, he was controlling, never let her do anything, basically restrained her from going out, punched her in the stomach while she was pregnant, kicked her and her baby out of the house right after she was born...."WHOAH!

So, knowing how bad my W thinks she was controlled, I started thinking about it hard to understand my role. I sort of get it but then I dont. I never stopped her from doing anything, ever. Never said NO, said I wasnt happy about certain things and grumbled when she came home or the whole Dallas trips to her family thing was always an "issue" but I never said, "DONT GO, or YOUR NOT GOING". So please help me people, I dont want to be a controlling person, how can you guilt someone so bad that they feel abused? I swear, I dont really understand it???

OK, 2x4's, 4x6's, Timbers from the rafters, hit me.

C