I"m in agony here...

[bombardier50]

Saffie,

Thanks for that...makes me feel a little better.

I think in hindsight, I really responded to the whole issue of menopause completely wrong, but also completely normally. I questioned whether she loved me, I became depressed and withdrawn, I mourned the loss of sex and hounded her about it, I wondered what I did wrong, etc., etc., etc. Now I know what she's going through is perfectly normal, and like me, she's having a little trouble coming to grips with it.

I was reading something about menopause, and it said that women who were sexual barracudas in their youth often "crash" when menopause comes around, especially if they've had a partial hysterectomy.

Bingo.

I'd love to sit down and talk to her about it, be I think she's still in a little denial. I guess for her, it's a bit of a shock. It's the concrete sign that she's getting older. I wish she would go talk to a doc, because I think there are some things that would help her, especially with the insomnia. But now I've gone and screwed up, tainted the waters, and I'm sure she'll misconstrue anything I suggest as just another desperate attempt to have sex with her. So I think the only thing I can do now is just be there for her, give her some space, and hope that she comes to grips with her body and decides to get some help on her own.

A couple of days ago, after the nude photo extravaganza, I told her that she was right, people and marriages change over time, and I had been too hard on her, and I was going to back off and give her some space. I told her it would be great to be her best friend, at least for now...probably the only smart thing I've said to her in the past six months.

On the way to the airport tomorrow, maybe I'll reiterate that. I like the way you phrased it earlier, that it's hard not being intimate but that I'm willing to wait until she's ready. I'll let you know how it goes.

So, besides Saffie, what does everyone else think? Just keep my mouth shut, or talk to her some more? Am I being sensitive, or just a wimp?

I will say this, I'm getting a little burned-out with all this sensitive, caring stuff. I need some man-time. I need to go out and chop some wood, watch some football, smoke a good cigar, and order a big plate of hot-wings at Hooters...