I"m in agony here...

[bombardier50]

OK, so, time for a little update. I thought Saffie was probably on the money, so yesterday, despite the heartache, I sat down at the computer and created three really lovely photos of her...a little photoshop work here and there, but nothing major or obvious. I just kind of let her natural beauty shine through. Keep in mind that these are very tasteful, artful nudes. No genitalia, etc. I could show these to my mom without fear. I had just finished working on them when she came home from work. She saw them and said "Oh, those are beautiful, thank you!" She asked me to email them to some of our very close friends. So I did. Our friends almost immediately emailed us back and they all just gushed over how beautiful she looked (perfect!). She just sat there at the computer and glowed like a light bulb.

Of course, now I have another problem. A couple of the wives want me to shoot them nude now. What a can of worms...

So, honestly, my gut tells me that Saffie is on the money. I think she's been broadsided by the whole aging/menopause thing and she's looking for validation.

I should point out that the nudes I shot before were years ago in an art class. Again, they were very artsy, and she really liked them. I kinda doubt that she's harboring any ill feelings from that.

Blackfoot, no porn addiction. I haven't looked at porn in years. I didn't have too...my wife was extraordinary in the sack. And I've never had an affair. Again...she was everything I needed.

Corri, I hear you. There are so many hurt people on this board whose spouse's have had affairs, I think it's natural to assume that it's the case here. I don't think so. But I am really worried about one thing: I'm afraid as I stand here on the sidelines waiting for her to work through her issues, she'll have an affair to see if it ignites the feelings she doesn't have for me right now. That scares me more than anything. I'm leaving tomorrow for a week-long business trip and that's going to be in the back of my mind the whole time.

Fear and loneliness...my constant companions. Too bad I'm not a musician...I'd have some great song material right now.