For the long term, it's all about attitude, the willingness to want to make things work. Willingness to explore your insecurities is rare indeed.

Why some people remain stuck while others can see a bigger picture, to me, is the real mystery.

stuck on what?

Well, I can tell you, I didn't mean what I said.

Yeah. I said a whole lot of things I didnt mean when I chewed on x. I dont have really any clear recollection of what they were though. Im sad that she probably does. From other women relating here, I understand how it rings on too long.
You have to understnad, BF, that the testing goes in both directions; it happens with both men and women.
Dont I know it. How do I ease up on this damn testing?

Notice how I said I wished my H did understand me more and help me, but that's really not accurate. If he had done that, it would have seemed too paternal for me. I kind of wish he figured it out and kept steady to himself, til I found a way to get to a better mind state. Make sense?

yeah. I wonder what would get my attention and shake me up to notice my mate was hurting besides an A.

The A didn't happen until a few years later, but those words stayed with him, and maybe he wanted them to.
yeah it makes it easier to push down the pain so you can do what needs to be done to let go and stop trying to get them to stop the pain.


Ive enjoyed being able to watch you on your Journey, RJ. these past few 'slips' and outbursts,... Do you feel better afterward? underneath the chagrin? After mine I would actually laugh when I would recollect it- for almost two weeks after. I was mad at myself of losing control, and embarassed, sad and frustratd she ran away, but my initial reaction was .... sated? relieved? like I just yakked out some bad food. reeling from the effort of the vomit, but glad its out. purged. Thats just way to many emotions for this guy to process all at once. One at a time please. lol. anyways..I sincerely wonder what would happen if you told him thank you for putting up with it, and that you feel a lot better now.

When it happens towards me nowadays, Ill give it some time, but latter give her a hug and say something like 'feel better now?'

If she is still cranky you have to pull out the big guns, pin her down and give her razberries till she says uncle.
Trying to figure out what comments to ignore and which comments to pay attention to- is the tricky part. \:\)